Cats do Clue
by TheMusicGirl
Summary: What happens when the kittens come up with the idea of the Junkyard doing their own version of the movie Clue? Read to find out!
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Hey ya'll! This was a random idea of mine, and I'm not a 100 sure how it's going to turn out, but I'm giving it a try! Please review!

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Etcetera bounced up onto the tire, followed by Electra, Jemima and Victoria. 

"Hey ya'll, can I have everybody's attention? Please?" the hyper kitten yelled out.

After a few more calls, the Jellicles slowly grouped around the tire, curious as to what the kittens were up to now. After a coule minutes, the crowd quieted down.

"Ok everybody, we're going to make a movie!" exclaimed Etcetera excidely. The kittens beside her nodded in agreement.

The crowd buzzed with a mix of excitemen and confusion.

"A movie?"

"What is this about?"

"How are they going to do this?"

Etcetera beamed. She was happy that the cats liked her idea. Byt just as she was thinking this, Munkustrap came up to her.

"I don't think this is a good idea guys…"

_Jeesh, leave it to Munku to spoil everything and be all Protectorish…_

Etcetera's face fell into a pout.

"And why not? We're just going to have some fun! We won't get into trouble Munku, I promise!"

"Yea, we just wanna have some fun!" Jemima chimed in. Jemima looked at her father with her big brown eyes. "Please Daddy?"

Munkustrap took one glance at his daughter and knew it was no good. _Oh Bast, why does she have to look so sweet and _innocent_! It's not fair!_

Munkustrap sighed. "Fine."

"Yay!" shouted the kittens. The four kittens immediately separated into the crowd to tell the Jellicles their specific duties in the making of the movie.

"Wait a minute, what movie are we doing?" asked someone who suspiciously sounded like Rum Tum Tugger. Etcetera jumped back onto the tire.

"So glad you asked! The movie we are going to be producing is…" she paused and looked around and then tried again. "The movie we are going to be producing is…" she paused again. "Oh for Bast's sake, I'm waiting for a drum roll here!"

"Ooh, sorry!" exclaimed Victoria as she did a drum roll.

"Thank you. The movie we are going to be producing is CLUE!"

The Junkyard went silent.

"Oh wow. That wasn't quiet the effect I was looking for…" muttered Etcetera to Electra. Electra gave a very small giggle. Suddenly, the Junkyard was full of laughter.

"I LOVE that movie!"

"Definitely the most hilarious movie EVER!"

"This is going to be interesting…"


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two:

A/N: Ooh, what I failed to mention, is that the Clue that we ahem I mean, the cats are producing is like, the movie. Not the books. Not the board game. Not the videogame. The movie. Ok, carry on!

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"Costumes?" asked a dumbfounded Jennyanydots, "Etcetera darling, we're _cats_ we don't _wear_ costumes… or clothes for that matter. And plus, how am I supposed to make three dresses, five suites, a poiliceman suite, and cook outfit _and _a maid outfit without taking forever to do it?"

"Oh, we've already thought about that," explained Etcetera, "The mice are going to help you."

"How did I know I was going to end up doing something like this?" sighed Mistofeleese. "You want me to do special effects. Ok. Can we be specific?"

"You know, like lightning and thunder and stuff like that," replied Victoria, "You have an easy job."

"Easy for you to say…" the magical tom muttered.

"Why do I have to be the gay guy?! I'm not gay!" whined Tumblebrutus. Electra giggled. "We mainly just wanted to see your reaction when we told you."

"I'm not gay! I promise! I'm NOT GAY!!!"

Rumpleteazer looked a Jemima skeptically.

"Ya. Want me. To be. Yvette?"

Jemima nodded. Rumpleteazer shook her head in disbelief.

"Whoi?"

"Because of your accent."

"Sorra ta bust ya bubble, but my accen' is faaaaar from being French."

"We know. But you'll still have a different accent from everybody else."

It took all four kittens to convince poor Exotica to be the telegram girl.

"Guys, I really don't think it's a good idea to make me the telegram girl…"

"Aww, come on Exotica! It's a small part! All you have to do is do a little jig and sing ' I am you singing telegram' and then fall to the ground. It's easy!" exclaimed Etcetera as Electra demonstrated. Exotica shook her graceful head.

" I get nervous guys… why don't you make Cassandra the telegram girl? We look enough a like…"

"Sorry kid, but I'm a backstage hand. And I'm happy with it," said Cassandra coming up behind them. And then she grinned, which was totally out of character for Cassandra.

"Not fair…" mumbled Exotica.

The kittens finally got to a point where they could hand out the scripts.

"Will all the actors and actresses please come over here so you can get your scripts?" shouted Etcetera from the tire as Jemima, Electra, and Victoria handed out the scripts.

"When does rehearsal start?" asked Demeter, who would be acting the part of Mrs. White.

"Today! Right after everybody get's their scripts!" exclaimed Etcetera.

It didn't take long to pass out the scripts to the 13 actors and actresses.

"OK! Let's get started!" shouted Etcetera.

The actors and actresses looked at the kitten blankly.

"Uh…"

"What do you want us to do? We haven't even read our lines…" said Bombalurina, who was going to be playing Miss. Scarlet.

" I know. We're just going to do it with the scripts until you all have the lines memorized," Etcetera said patiently.

The Jellicles looked at each other and shrugged. And then they all sat down to do a read through of the movie.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three:

A/N: Thanks to Tragic Memory and MissQuaxoMistoffelees for my first reviews! throws big boxes of cookies to TM and MissQM Yay! I know this chapter is short, but I thought that it had a little bit of a funny ending. Enjoy!

"Ok! Incase you all don't know who you are, this is the casting!" giggled Etcetera as she held up a sheet of paper for the cast to see.

**Casting**

Wadsworth: Munkustrap

Yvette: Rumpleteazer

The cook: Tantomile

Col. Mustard: Rum Tum Tugger

Mrs. White: Demeter

Miss. Scarlet: Bombalurina

Prof. Plum: Alonzo

Mr. Green: Tumblebrutus

Mrs. Peacock: Jellylorum

Mr. Boddy: Plato

The motorist: Coricopat

The policeman: Skimbleshanks

The telegram girl: Exotica

Chief: Pouncival

"Uh, Etcetera?"

"Yes Coricopat?"

"We're cats-"

"Yes I know that," interrupted Etcetera, tired of being reminded of that obvious fact. "And?"

"We don't drive cars."

"So?"

"How am I supposed to be a motorist if we don't drive cars?"

"Yea, and how is Alonzo supposed to pick me up after my car problems if we don't drive?" asked Demeter.

Etcetera stuttered for a moment before Electra whispered something in her ear. Etcetera nodded in agreement to what Electra said.

"Ok, here's what we're going to do…" the kitten said as she pulled out her copy of the script of got a pencil out. "We're going to say that Miss Scarlet was walking to the mansion, but she tripped, and twisted her ankle. Yeah… and then Alonzo comes along and helps her and yadda yadda yadda… and then, when the motorist comes along, we'll just say that he was walking, and because of the storm, he won't be home tonight, so he came to the mansion to use the telephone to call home. And _yes_ I do know that we are _cats_ and we don't _use_ phones, but come on. Use your imagination."

The cast members looked at one another, slightly surprised at Etcetera's agitation.

"One other thing…" was all Munkustrap could get out before Demeter clamped her paw over his mouth.

"Toms need to learn when to shutup," she said to him.

"Sorry!" came the muffled reply.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four:**

**A/N : Yay for USFRumpleteazer! Thankya for reading! I'm glad you liked the last chapter! throws USFR a big box of cookies Now, If only you would be less difficult on the RPG… glares at her But anyways, exciting news ya'll: I'M FWEEE!!!! No more school for like three months!!!! Yay! Oh, and this is another really short chapter, but trust me, you wouldn't want me to have them read through the WHOLE script and write about it. The script itself is 96 pages on Microsoft. Ok, I'll shutup now and get back to the story!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Cats, and I don't own Clue. I wish I owned both of them, but unfortunately, I'm not that much of a genius. (**

**A/N: Ok, here's how this is going to go. The italics stuff is what the script says. Anything that is underlined is what they cross out. ok? Unfortunately, the internet won't keep the formatting that I put on it. I had strikeout on the stuff that they were crossing out, so it looked cool, but it didn't do it. ( I hope that all made sense... I'm not very good at explaining things...**

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"I'm going to be the 'narrator' for now, ok?" said Etcetera before reading the stage directions and not waiting for an answer.

_'WADSWORTH's car travels through the wind of an oncoming storm._

_It pulls up to the gate of Hill House._

_Hill House is a large, imposing mansion, looking very New England._

_Wadsworth takes out a key and unlocks the gate._

_He drives the car walks up to the front door._

_Wadsworth exits the car, is holding a bag and looking at the two barking guard dogs-'_

"Wait a minute!"

Etcetera sighed. "Yes Jellylorum?"

"We can't have pollicles."

"And why not?"

"Because we're-"

"Ok, ok, ok, I know. We're cats. We'll scratch the dogs out of the whole thing."

_'The dogs approach Wadsworth . . . then jump._

_Wadsworth quickly pulls a big beef bone out of the bag and hurls it to them._

_The dogs trot away to gnaw on the bone as Wadsworth rolls up the bag._

_Wadsworth cinches their chain so it won't allow them to reach the door._

_He steps toward the door . . . and sniffs._

_Wadsworth pauses and checks the bottom of his feet. Dog crap._

_He looks in disgust at the dogs, who aren't bothered at all._

_The Hall of Hill House is remarkable, elegant but not gaudy._

_It is furnished in dark wood, and brass, with crystal chandeliers._

_There are several doors on each side of the hall and three at the end._

_To the left: Lounge and dining room._

_To the right: Study, library, and billiard room._

_The end: Conservatory, ball room, bathroom, and kitchen._

_The stairs are located to the right._

_By the staircase is the door to the basement steps._

_We hear "Shake, Rattle, and Roll" in the background._

_Wadsworth opens the front door of Hill House and wipes off his foot._

_He enters and hangs up his coat._

_SUPERIMPOSED: NEW ENGLAND_

_1954_

_Wadsworth steps briskly down the Hall steps toward the library._

_The library is a somewhat more comfortable room than the hall,_

_composed of dark colors. All of the walls are covered with books,_

_with the exception of one wall, a window._

_YVETTE, a young and rather jiggly french maid –'_

"Whoa, woai' a minu'! I'm no' gonna be no 'jiggla' French maid. It's bad enough tha' I gotta _be_ a French maid."

"OK! Bast ya'll are difficult!" said an exasperated Etcetera as she took a pencil and slashed out the three promblemating words.

_'YVETTE, a young and rather jiggly french maid is polishing a glass_.'

"Better?"

Rumpleteazer nodded.

"Much betta."

So the reading went on like this, Etcetera soon crossing out and adding things befor the cast even had to say anything. By the time they were done, all were in need of a new script.

"Ok, we will work on revising the scripts and get new copies to you in the morning," said Jemima as the group got ready to disperse. After the last cast member left Etcetera smiled. "This is going to be good girls." Her friends nodded and got to work on the new scripts.


End file.
